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Taken February 2001 from London Heathrow to San Francisco

I've flown three carriers on trans-Atlantic routes over the last four years and have to say that United has always ranked third. This last trip just made the distance between second and third larger. I will only fly United if absolutely necessary, and there are no alternatives.

I was originally slated to fly out on British Airways, but my connecting flight on Aer Lingus from Dublin was delayed by snow in Dublin. BA had a ticket for me on the last available direct flight from LHR to SFO in less than five minutes. Unfortunately, it was on United.

So let's run down the list of annoyances on this last flight...

- When trying to get my BA endorsed ticket accepted at the UA counter in Heathrow, the person interrupted me not once, but twice, to discuss with various co-workers where they were going to take lunch break. It was then passed to not one, but two, supervisors that looked at it as if I handed them a salmon. Twenty-five minutes later I was cleared to go to the gate.

- The flight was delayed four hours with no explanation. Go sit in the construction area and wait.

- When we were finally allowed into the gate area, the flight attendants were all complaining loudly that the delay was going to cause them to work more hours than allowed by the union. Who was going to call the union rep? What paperwork needed to be filed to complain? And so forth.

- The leg and arm room on this flight were the least comfortable I've encountered on any plane, anywhere. This includes nineteen seat puddle jumpers taken into and out of Nowhere, Montana.

- Unlike the other carriers I've flown across the Atlantic, this aircraft did not have monitors on the seat backs. They did have a projection TV that was out of register and out of focus. The announcing attendant pointed out repeatedly that business and first class would be able to watch their choice of a dozen channels of premium entertainment, while economy would get a couple of second run movies (snicker).

- I observed that the flight attendants were surly and discourteuos to everyone they encountered. At one point, around two or three hours into the flight, I rang my call button to ask a question. After 15 minutes with no reply, I gave up. I then got up and walked the perimeter of the economy section without seeing a single attendant.

- At around the four hour mark, thirty minutes into the second movie, the screen went blank. After fifteen minutes of blank screen, a different movie started. Then five minutes later the original movie started over again from the beginning. Ten minutes later, the original movie was fast forwarded, on-screen, to approximately where it had been stopped in the first place.

- When we landed at SFO, no information was given as to which direction must be taken to get to customs. Since the international terminal has just opened, and parts are still under construction, this type of information is needed. I figured it out, but I saw a large number of people wandering off in the wrong direction.

So to recap, fly United only if you are a severe masochist. I gave them an underservedly high mark of 2 points out of 10, across the board, because at least they didn't put it in the ocean, but that is hardly high praise.

(p.s., their domestic "service" is just as bad)