1998 Vauxhall Vectra LS review from UK and Ireland

Where do I start??

- Cambelt fell off when tensioner disintegrated, requiring a new engine at 40,000 miles!

- Passenger electric window refused to lift.

- ECU warning light kept coming on.

- Erratic idle, and kangarooed so badly in traffic it was almost undriveable.

- Flat spots.

- Failed to start on 9 separate occasions.

- Starter motor packed up.

- Immobiliser packed up.

- Wiper linkage fell apart.

- Stereo packed up.

- Information panel for radio / outside temperature / clock kept displaying complete garbage.

- Appalling seats and driving position caused a serious upper back and neck injury requiring £500 worth of chiropractic treatment.

I took this car over from a previous employee when I started a new job. I went into it with an open mind, and decided to ignore everyone's comments on what crap these cars were. Unfortunately, the catalogue of disasters I faced over the next 20,000 miles proved them all right.

The car was acquired new by the company, and was serviced on the button, regardless of cost. Yes, it was driven hard, but all the other cars on the fleet seem to take this okay. The Cavaliers on the fleet at my last company suffered much greater abuse, yet were much more resilient as well as quite enjoyable to drive.

The way I see it, the Vectra isn't built - it's chucked together using the cheapest possible components, and without a care for the poor sod who ends up buying it or driving it. There's no care gone into it, no sparkle, no love. It's just the ultimate example of the car as a domestic appliance, appealing on paper to corporate bean counters, and trading heavily on the good, solid reliability that the Vauxhall badge normally carries. The finished product is an underdeveloped, terminally unreliable dog of a car which, sweet engine apart, is fit only for the crusher.

To drive, it suffers from the usual Vauxhall syndrome. The 1.8 engine is sweet (when it is running properly), and punchy beyond what you would normally expect from a car of this size, but it rides terribly, understeers like a pig in the wet, and the steering has no feel whatsoever. The gearchange is notchy and clunky, and the long travel clutch is heavy. Even the brakes feel wooden. Did any human being ever drive this car during its development? If so, what kind of weird anatomy did they have to pass off these upholstered plank seats, and neck cricking driving position. I have a medical certificate to prove their failure in any case.

Plus points? Engine apart, it's a fast, quiet motorway cruiser which will sit at 85 mph seemingly forever. It's reasonably economical too. However, in this day and age, it should be capable of more, and it just isn't.

An almost criminal atrocity. Avoid at all costs!