2003 BMW Mini Cooper S review from UK and Ireland

1). Single-slot CD player replaced because it skips.

2). Wiper-speed step-down programming requested as per the "MINI User Manual".

3). Replacement Single-slot CD player fails.

4). Dash rattle.

5). Driver seat mechanism squeaks requiring total rebuild and lengths of anti-rattle tape to finish the job started in the factory.

6). OFF-SIDE FRONT suspension mounting failed causing the car to lean and fall to the OS-kerb/centre of the road under braking.

7). Replacement Single-slot CD player fails.

8). NSF run-flat puncture on a Sunday, out of miles on the run-flat tyre and the dealer could source a replacement for 4 days!

9). Replacement Single-slot CD player fails.

10). MPG is averaging at 27MPG at a steady 70mph.

11). Fuel Computer registers "30MPG" instead.

12). Clutch pedal clicks when being depressed and released.

13). NSF side repeater falls out, with it's retaining catch broken.

14). Handbrake releases itself and car rolls away.

15). Replacement Single-slot CD player fails.

16). Two-stage door locking couldn't be programmed again because of a mistake in the manual.

17). Glove box creaks.

18). Lacquer marks in paintwork (since new) removed.

19). Extremely loud front brakes squeal.

20). Extremely loud front brakes squeal again.

21). Extremely loud front brakes squeal yet again. Pads skimmed and deglazed to resolve.

22). Fuel consumption worsens (25MPG)

23). Fuel computer still over-registers by 10%

24). Yo-yoing or Surging effect ("Kangaroo petrol"). 3 visits until...

25). Throttle housing shatters. Yo-yo effect disappears.

26). Power Steering pumps fails because the terminals have corroded away needing recovery.

27). Traction Control light and Tyre pressure warning lights on permanently with a total sensor failure in the car.

28). Tailgate latch mechanism fails and rattles like crazy.

29). OFF-SIDE FRONT and NSF seat-belt hangers rattle together.

30). Yo-yo effect returns.

31). ELECTRONIC CONTROL UNIT version 33 loaded with no improvement.

32). "Stumble" now arises when pulling away in 1st gear, throwing passengers forward in their seats, and was recovered because it was unsafe to drive.

33). Gear stick rattles around like crazy when pulling away in 1st.

34). Drivers seat mechanism begins it's squeaking-rattling thing again.

35). Cooper "S" bonnet inlet duct looses retaining nuts into engine bay and rattles around at high motorway speeds, it flaps up and down!

36). ELECTRONIC CONTROL UNIT version 34 loaded again with no improvement.

37). Stumble still exists.

38). Steering column clicks (can be felt through steering wheel).

39). Power Steering pump fails again and car is again recovered, 2 days before handing back to the dealer for good!

40). The 2-month old replacement car that BMW/MINI forced me to pay £800 for had a steering failure too.

I would never, ever recommend buying a MINI Cooper S.

They are great if you don't need a reliable car.

They are a toy car and not a trust-worthy vehicle.

I consider them to be unsafe.

They are great to look at, but not so great too look at when you see them towed away.

I would have covered 25,000 miles in it, in fact the mileometer showed 18,000 miles when I handed it back, so that 7,000 miles covered in courtesy and hire cars!!!

If you must buy a one, and you have the patience, only keep it until the BMW/MINI Warranty runs out otherwise you're in for some big bills.