You are clearly in the minority if you read the other reviews from other 9000 owners. Maybe you just bought a dog? Did you expect fuel economy in the 30-40MPG range when you bought such a big heavy car? Ever studied physics? Guess not. Try servicing it - I can get 38 on a motorway run, and 28 commuting which is way better than my 900 was!
There are also plenty of quality Saab specialists around that aren't main dealers and don't charge their silly prices. Oh, and they hold their value just fine if you look after them.
Buying a Saab is not a rational decision; it is a purely emotional one. Sure, they have their little (and not so little) niggles, but when they are on song very few cars compare to the Saab 9000 for driver interaction and aura.
If you're unable to see what is special about older Saabs, then you wouldn't understand.
These cars are reputed as being expensive to maintain - but have you tried BMW or Mercedes? As for fuel economy - I get around 30 Mpg on long trips (highway@90-100 mph and mountain roads@40-60 mph) and 20-22 mpg in city driving (depending on season). About what the book says... It's a '92 CS non-turbo and so far I have only had to fix the steering rack (expensive!!!).
Handling is superb - you will only realize how fast you are going when you reach a steep curve and find yourself going 50-60! Braking is very good (ABS a must!) and curve insertion is very neutral... Best car I've driven to date!
You answered you own comments. People buy Saab not for resale value, especially used. Saab owners drive their Saabs hard and fast. Because they can easily do it like you said. Not like a high speed loser that was just showing off for a while. I drove my first & second Saab 9000 to 235 km/h a few times, but mostly at the 200 - 220 range.
Yes, you need the authorized dealer to service Saab cars and replace many parts overtimes, just like Porsche, Audi, MB, BMW. You cannot be cheap like a Japanese car, because Saab is a performance car similar to a race car that needs good parts to drive at high speed, just so you know.
As with most cars there is nothing rational about buying a Saab, you either love them or hate them. Reliable, comfortable, quirky and incomparable. Find yourself a good mechanic, not a main dealer but someone who actually cares and understands all the differences that a Saab has to offer and you won't want another car. I have had 3 to date and am about to buy another simply because of all of the above. I've learned a fair bit about them along the way too and I've had some expensive repairs, but... despite driving in a hot environment, as long as you watch the temp gauge, they will deliver!