Heater hose burst on the highway at night 140 km away from civilization.
TDC sensor broke down, resulting in intermittent and sudden engine cuts - was hard to diagnose - again, at night, in the middle of nowhere. Took me 8 hours to drive 120 km as the car was stalling every 10 minutes.
Three (3) tailgate lock solenoids changed in one year, they just kept failing, locking the boot no matter what you do. Very inconvenient at any time, especially when shopping.
Ignition lock was changed 4 weeks before I bought the car (have paperwork, cost of $190) and the new one started to play up after only a few months.
Computer screen is of atrocious quality - 80% of the pixels are missing; you have to be a Sudoku expert to figure out what it says, and what you see also depends on the temperature.
Original SAAB rear speakers sounded like a Chinese-made tin garden shed on a windy day. Replaced with an aftermarket Pioneer.
Factory stereo sometimes went mute for days, no matter what I did, there was no sound. Than suddenly sound would come back by itself, for any time it wanted - 5 minutes or 5 weeks, only to disappear into thin air again.
Bonnet struts not holding (OK, normal wear and tear).
Engine finally gave up the ghost - failed to start at the end of my 14-hour hospital night shift, leaving me wondering after a sleepless night: "Why NOW? Thank you, SAAB! What a marvel of human engineering!" To make things more interesting, it happened after the car was sold and the buyer was on his way to pick up that pile of misery.
I tried to use "Start Ya Bastard" Instant Engine Starter, produced and marketed by Nulon, (who, obviously, do not have a problem using the word "b*****d" within the Australian public, as our site moderators do), but it did not work.
I know that female owners usually "humanise" their cars, thinking of them as of "living creatures", and we, males, don't normally do that. But I honestly think that b*****d had his own evil soul - otherwise, why he would do such things?
The most impressive part was that when engine failed, the NRMA guy was driving the Saab around town on the back of his truck all day long, because NO MECHANIC WOULD TOUCH IT. Finally he brought it back to me, saying "sorry, nobody wants to do anything with the SAAB" (and I live in Australia, not Papua New Guinea).
Total and entire rubbish. Will I ever learn??? I've had a total of 7 Saabs in my life - EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BROKE DOWN MISERABLY due to electronic faults, and was too expensive and awkward to repair.
Every time I promised to myself that I will never touch one of those freaks again, and every time I bought another one!
And even I only bought a "low mileage, well looked after, one owner, meticulously maintained" examples - they still broke down on me, even though I maintained them even better than the original owners.
I used to be a Volvo truck mechanic for years in NZ, but... oh boy... I give up. To hell with them. As much as their trucks and buses are good, their cars are a total nuisance.
To be fair, Volvo people are clever enough to use some reliable (made in Japan) electronics, not that horrible, unspeakable VDO cr*p, created by a sick brain (if any!), that will fail if not every week, then every second week (SAAB ignition cartridges, anyone wants to put a good word for them?).
I came from a family of construction designers/engineers. When I look at Saab design, I want to cry. Saab engineers! You went to Uni, right??? Why not use the knowledge and skills to create something DECENT???
Those of you, Swedish Bricks enthusiasts, keen to "keep them rolling" - it is about time you wake up to reality and stop pouring your money and time into that black hole that is called "Quality European cars". "Quality" is not anywhere near them. I don't want to be a part of this insanity anymore. The more money and care you put in that b*****d, the more it wants, and it betrays you at the most unsuitable time.
P.S. NO WONDER, THEY WENT BANKRUPT.
ROT IN HELL, SAAB!